


Fields of Blue

by gayporwave



Category: Shadowrun: Hong Kong
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, F/F, Soulmate-Identifying Marks
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-12
Updated: 2018-10-12
Packaged: 2019-07-27 07:48:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,565
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16214645
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gayporwave/pseuds/gayporwave
Summary: Runners don’t do soulmates and Is0bel especially doesn’t.





	Fields of Blue

**Author's Note:**

  * For [ChocoChipBiscuit](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ChocoChipBiscuit/gifts).



Soulmates didn’t matter in the Walled City.

Between worrying about if you could eat today, fending off other inhabitants of the city, and whether you’d live to see tomorrow - soulmates were pretty low on the list of priorities.

Of course, this didn’t mean some weren’t rolling over fresh corpses to check their wrists or ignored those who didn’t bother to hide their Names. Most smart people in the Fifth World hid their Names, they were liabilities to take advantage of. It wasn’t unheard of for people to impersonate one’s soulmate or take them for ransom - if there was a way to take advantage of a Name, it'd already been found.

Is0bel dreads the moment hers forms on her skin. Appearing out of the blue, not long after her twelfth birthday, sloppy letters that spelled out an unusual name.

G-O-B-B-E-T.

Gobbet.

Her mother helps hide it with a wristband like most of Kowloon’s residents did. Breathable synthetic leather that allowed one to hide a Name with ease. She wore one herself ever since her name had formed and so did her husband. They couldn’t afford to have it tattooed over or burned off like those more fortunate usually did.

She didn’t think about her Name much after that. Not until she escaped from the Walled City. When the strange rat shaman ork girl introduces herself as Gobbet and her world changes.

She says nothing though, she knows the stories. She has hurt enough and she has no place in her heart for love, not anymore.

It doesn’t matter after she burns it off and erases her memory.

 

 

“Do you ever think about your Name?” Gobbet asks out of the blue. No lead-up or anything. The two of them are nestled against each other on top of a pile of ratty old t-shirts and blankets as they watch some of Gobbet’s trids again. They have movie nights every so often, whenever the two of them aren’t doing any work for Kindly and have time to spare.

“...My Name?” is all Is0bel manages to say in response.

The question is one of the last things she would have expected from Gobbet. She’s pretty certain she means a Name and not a name, considering the subject matter of the movie. Some shoddily produced soap opera-esque drek about two star-crossed soulmates who happen to faithfully meet each other while on a run. One a street-hardened, emotionally scarred runner who never thought she’d find love and the other the sheltered, naïve daughter of an Ares executive who thinks love can conquer all. It’s really stupid and the cinematography is awful, but it’s entertaining and Gobbet seems to like it, so Is0bel keeps watching.

“Yeah.” Gobbet holds up her wrist and inspects the leather wristband covering it. Is0bel doesn’t know what’s underneath, and she’s never given much thought about asking throughout all the years they’ve known each other. This is the first time they’ve ever broached the subject, now that she thinks about it. “The movie made me start thinking about it. People like us don’t do soulmates, but can you imagine?”

She mulls it over for a moment.

She knows of more than a few runners who have found their Names on another runner’s wrist. It almost never ends well for either party.

“Every once in a while, I guess,” she answers truthfully. She spares a glance at her own wrist and the scarred over flesh that once was her own Name. Gobbet isn’t wrong, runners don’t do soulmates and Is0bel especially doesn’t. Still, the curiosity nags at her whenever she looks at her own wrist for too long. Always has, ever since she burned her name off and filed her memories away. “I don’t remember what it was.”

“That sucks,” Gobbet says around a mouthful of popcorn and wipes the butter from her mouth with a stray smelly t-shirt. Is0bel flicks a popcorn kennel at her playfully.

“Gross,” she laughs, and pouts when Gobbet throws a piece right back at her.

“What?” Gobbet protests shooting her look. “You’ve seen me do worse.”

The two of them continue watching the movie and though she tries not to, Is0bet gets in her feelings. She wants to pretend everything is okay and that Gobbet’s question hasn’t rattled her at all, but a weight sinks into her gut.

She wants to say something to her. About how she loves Gobbet and has loved her for a while now. That sometimes she wishes what the two of them have - not quite friendship but not a “real” relationship either - was more defined. More serious. How Gobbet’s question makes her wish she knew what the name on her wrist had been.

Instead, she grabs her own fistful of popcorn.

 

 

Regaining her memories is painful.

She doesn’t want to remember Kowloon, especially doesn’t want to remember her brother’s overdose or the family she left behind. The memories hurt as if they were fresh and she wants, needs, some time alone to process them.

Thankfully, Seattle is a good friend and understands, and lets her be with an offer of support if she should need it.

She thought she would be okay with getting them back. Preemptively, had made peace with the idea of taking it slow and processing each memory as it came back to her.

The thing is, every time she closes her eyes she can see them. Replaying over and over again, bursts of remembered jumbled sights and sounds in her head that play like a corrupted trid file. Jacking into the Matrix only does so much to help her keep her mind off of it, and she jacks out in frustration when everything gets too much to ignore.

Then there’s Gobbet.

She’s always been afraid in some way, that one day Gobbet’s gut instinct (or maybe even Rat) will tell her to abandon Is0bel. But knowing that the scarred mess on her wrist used to spell out Gobbet’s name is a terrifying new development.

Is0bel is, if anything, reliable, and chooses to use her tried and true tactic of ignoring everything so she doesn't have to deal with it. She promises herself that she'll gather up the strength to talk to Gobbet later when everything isn't so fresh and raw, and pointedly ignores the small voice in her head that tells herself to stop being a coward.

 

 

Qian Ya happens first.

Facing a homicidal god-demon from another dimension and winning really changes one's perspective on life and in a weird way, Is0bel is almost thankful for the experience. Though, she's almost one hundred percent sure she won't be able to sleep without seeing the Demon Queen's true form in her dreams for at least a couple more days.

If she can face both her childhood and the Demon Queen of Teeth, then she can have a heart to heart with Gobbet

Hopefully.

Of course, Is0bel's resolve instantly melts away once she's actually in Gobbet's room, like she has been a thousand times before. A large part of her wants to flee and plug back into the Matrix, where she doesn't have to deal with anything like telling your not-girlfriend you love her and that oops coincidentally she happens to be your soulmate.

But, this is a brave new world and Is0bel is going to stick to her guns, no matter how much she wants to puke right now.

As perceptive as ever, Gobbet notices her discomfort and looks appropriately worried, which only feeds into her nervousness. "Iz, are you okay? If you don't want to tell me whatever it is that was so important you don't have to..."

Is0bel frowns and clears her throat, ignoring the bile rising in it. "Um, no. I'm fine, I... think I need to talk you about this. For both of our sakes."

Gobbet looks even more worried but makes a gesture for Is0bel to continue, so she does. "You remember the conversation we had when we were watching that one movie? The one with the Ares exec's daughter?"

Gobbet looks confused.

"...Yeah?"

"I know what the name on my wrist was."

Gobbet slowly unclasps the leather wristband and holds out an upturned wrist. Sure enough in dark black ink is Is0bel's name etched into her skin, her real one, plain as day. She looks at Is0bel expectantly, waiting for her to confirm or deny. It only occurs to her now that she's never given Gobbet her real name, only an alias when she hadn't picked out a running name.

Is0bel nods. "It's my name."

Gobbet shakes her head, laughing, and closes the gap between them. Moving her hands to cradle Is0bel's head and Is0bel cranes her head to look up at her. Their gazes meet and Gobbet's eyes are so soft that Is0bel is afraid of what she'll say. Afraid of the rejection she's almost sure is coming.

Gobbet leans in closer and Is0bel knows she's not going to like what she has to say. Instead of what Is0bel expects, what Gobbet says is, "Iz...I don't care about a Name or anything. I love you and knowing that I could have died without telling you that shook me up, soulmates or not."

Her lips meet Gobbet's and Is0bel swears that her heart melts when she feels Gobbet smile against mouth. She makes the executive decision to forget about her fears and worries and let herself enjoy the moment.

**Author's Note:**

> Title from the song of the same name by Tennis: [[x](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r3s7lyXtkjo)]


End file.
